Every year, I read a plethora of posts that say “I don’t do New Year’s resolutions” and then go on to list New Year’s resolutions. Hell, I’ve probably written one before.
I think the problem is that the format of the resolution sounds like putting pressure on oneself – “this year I will lose arbitrary amount of weight as if each lb taken away signifies 1lb of added happiness”. There’s a negativity about it, a beating of the self with the pointy stick of “why haven’t you done this already”. It’s a checklist, rather than a spur for growth.
The thing is, the changing of the calendar is as good a time as any to get your thoughts in order. No, you don’t have to do a damn thing just because it’s January 1st. Neither does it make it any less of a resolution if you make it on June 17th. But emotionally, I think it is easier to allow yourself to be carried on the tide of hope that inevitably wells up at this time of year. The days begin to lengthen again, we spend weeks correcting ourselves every time we write down the date, and it just seems to be a serendipitous moment to do a bit more brain training.
This is why I like to set myself a theme, rather than specific goals. For one, some goals can be forced but some depend on the right opportunity presenting itself, and the resolution is more about the groundwork – being ready to seize that moment – than about the moment itself. For the last few years I’ve sought to develop mindsets, rather than attain specific rungs on my mental ladder. So for each year, I’ve assigned a word, and let that word be the theme that guides me, and that I can come back to when I feel stuck.
In 2013, I was feeling a little scared and set in my ways. So I chose Decisiveness, and I changed jobs and took a new career path which has helped me learn a lot. In 2014, Creativity ruled the roost; I started to share more of my writing and drawing online, and I found that each time you do it the walls do come down a little more and it becomes easier. In 2015, the year of Asking, I applied for and received funding for an art course, negotiated some things at work I would usually find difficult and, crucially, learned when I could ask, but also when I didn’t need to anymore.
And these things are cumulative. I shared more stories, and more art and came up with better creative ideas in the year after I made Creativity my guiding principle, because I’d exercised the muscle and it was working more smoothly. My decision-making has been better this year than the last two; it will continue to improve, I’m sure. I speak up more now than I did at the beginning of the year. So, the time has come to choose the word that I think will pick up these three strands and continue to pull them along, while giving me new challenges.
I frequently underestimate mine and, frankly, I’m not sure I always see it in other people as much as I could or should. It could be my own financial value, or it could be the emotional or practical value provided by another, but more than that I think it’s understanding that – even if you can’t itemise it – everyone has value, just by virtue of being here. It’s really seeing that, and living it, and getting it. I feel like the best thing I could teach my daughter is to be kind, and at the root of kindness is appreciation. I’ll find it a lot easier to teach her that if I truly have a grip on it myself. As things are in the world now, compassion is desperately needed and not always easy to come by. But it has to start with recognising the value of each person, and really, truly, knowing one’s own.
And hey, it sounds pretty Agent Carter, right?
I love this post. And I love your words and the impact each one has had. Value is a brilliant choice for 2016 – I’m sure you and it will do all good things together!
Have you heard of Ali Edwards’ One Little Word project? It’s a year long creative project (with a whole community around it) that might be right up your street.
Aw thanks Jenni! And no, I haven’t – I shall look it up right away! x
[…] did a little search and found out that I am not the only one who chose value. Alexandra over at MOKUSKA chose Value too. How cool is […]
As I was writing my 2016 goals/word post I was searching to see if anybody else had chosen this word for 2016. I find it so cool that you picked this word too. I linked to your post in mine 🙂
Oh that’s awesome – heading over to have a read now. Thank you! And happy new year!
What a great word for 2016. Value. A word we use but sometimes take for granted. I am not going by a use this year as much as a motto – believe in yourself. I am telling myself that everyday until it finally sinks in.
Right? That’s a great motto to take into the new year with you! Thanks so much for reading. x
[…] year I embraced my Creativity. I had a year of Asking in 2015, and followed it up this year with recognising and respecting Value – mine and everyone […]
[…] Value > I think I might have seen more of the results of this in 2017 than 2016, especially when […]
[…] my seventh year of choosing one, and you can read about year’s 2015, 2016, 2017 and 2018 here (I don’t think I wrote about 2014’s Creativity or 2013’s […]