Once there was a girl… a challenge?

Last night I had dinner with Rochelle, which is always a sensible thing to do. Not only is she lovely and very funny, she never fails to be inspiring. She’s had about fourteen careers already, and she’s not even quite in her mid-30s, and she just doesn’t let things hold her back. Sure she feels fear, and has the occasional wobble, because she’s human. But she also sees something she wants to do, logically works out how to achieve it, and then just does it. Given I’m still learning how to ask for stuff, you can imagine why seeing her always feels like a shot in the arm.

We got talking about challenges, and I bore everyone to tears about make no secret of the fact that my #100forchildsi challenge really changed me. Since then, I’ve kept drawing, and even experimented with putting one of my designs on a t-shirt. I’ve got vague but gradually coalescing plans to do more with this, and another design developing in my head. I really do want to progress this to the point where there is an actual physical product available, potentially even to sell. Whether or not anyone wants to buy it, well… that’s another issue.

But before I was drawing, I was writing. And I still write. But not nearly as often as I could or should. But a blogging challenge just didn’t appeal somehow. I liked the idea of a theme (getting too nebulous creatively can be as problematic as being too limited), but I also wanted to stretch my fiction-writing muscles which are seriously flabby and creaking, but for the occasional stretch.

So I thought, what if my theme was ‘once there was a girl*’? If that was the first line of every story, and each story was maybe a tiny complete tale or a short fragment, and I tried to do it every day for, say, 30 days? I have the feeling I should do it sooner rather than later, so maybe I’ll start this weekend. And this time, I’m not accountable to people raising money for charity (though if you’d like to support Childsi anyway, my JustGiving page still exists). And I am really going to have to put my money where my mouth is on the asking front, because I’d be asking anyone who’s sweet enough to read this blog on occasion to spend time looking at stuff that would be quick and unpolished, and that I wouldn’t feel very confident about. And that’s terrifying, though here I take inspiration from another marvellous woman, Jenni, who recently launched her fab book vlog.

So… I think I’m going to do it. It might be soon. It might be very soon. And I invite you to gently take my hand and give it a squeeze and be constructive, but kind. Because you’re wonderful and I have faith in you. Yes, you.

*Yes, always a girl, I think. Don’t get me wrong, I love Tom and his paper cats, and he came into my head as a man, and a man he should stay. But while I’m challenging myself, why not add a more female voice among the many, many male stories? I might change my mind and bend my own rules, but we’ll see.

Edit 08.02: Well, it looks like we’re off and running! I’ll add pieces below as they appear…

1. OTWAG: Once
2. OTWAG: The Thunder Tree
3. OTWAG: Am (Not) Writing
4. OTWAG: Library
5. OTWAG: Holding the Leash
6. OTWAG: Resolution
7. OTWAG: Bedtime Story
8. OTWAG: The Pink Paper
9. OTWAG: Watching
[Edit 19/02: A slight interlude of fail. I my defence, I’ve been working full, long days and then had evening plans that have seen me busy until at least 11pm. Yes, if I was really dedicated I’d get up even earlier than 6am or write until 2am, but I’m clearly doomed to eternal lack of ‘really wanting it’ or something when it comes to the decision between writing and seeing my child, or sleeping. I shall return this weekend, however, with a genteel, finger-tapping vengeance.]

Papercats – a story

Once there was a boy called Tom, and he lived in a world of paper.

Of course it wasn’t literally paper. He had a house, with broad stone walls, a scarred wooden table and a cold kitchen and warm bedroom – a sure sign of someone who spends too much time in their own head. Tom didn’t have a family and he didn’t have friends. Instead, Tom had paper.

Throughout the day and long into the night, Tom made things out of paper. He made animals and plants, buildings and landscapes. He crafted bridges and bred dinosaurs. He built people and sat them around tiny paper plates, cups and saucers. But at the end of every day, Tom would examine his work sadly and realise that something was missing. Perhaps a crease was messy or there was a smear on the crisp white card. And, sadly, Tom would crumple the paper figures up in his hand, stack his paper neatly at the edge of the table and shuffle slowly up the stairs to bed, where he would sleep badly.

Day after day, night after night, Tom worked steadily on his paper world. And day after day, night after night, he went up to bed disappointed. Until the night that Tom ran out of ideas.

He sat at the table, frustrated and dismayed. He had never before been stuck for inspiration, but this time it seemed like he’d already made everything there was to be made. His hands started to itch to fold paper, but his brain didn’t know what shape the paper should take.

IMG_0328Finally, he lifted a sheet, turned it over in his hands, and eventually started to work. He realised that among the many animals he had made – weasels, parakeets, dogs, frogs, zebras – he’d never made a cat. And that’s what he was going to try to make now.

When the cat was finished, Tom looked it carefully. This cat would never do. Its left ear was too small, and its tail a stubby mess. Immediately, Tom crushed the cat in his fingers and started again.

The second cat was better than the first, but still – it simply wasn’t right. There was a smear on the right haunch, and the head was at a funny angle. Usually Tom would simply move on to the next thing; in fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d even given anything a second chance. And now, as he feverishly grabbed another sheet of paper, he was trying for the third time.

Tom set to work. Piece after folding piece, crease after folding crease, the cat began to take shape. His hair began to fall into his eyes, the cold chill in the kitchen crept up around his shoulders and his fingers began to feel stiff and sore, but still he went on. At last, the final fold was in place, and he gently set the cat on the table and eased down his aching shoulders, staring at the paper pet.

This attempt was….

Perfect.

Tom sat back, confused. He could not find a single fault with the cat. It sat upright on its haunches, a neatly proportioned tail curled around to the side. Its head was tilted with a curious expression, its ears were pointed and perky, and the curve of its back was smooth and blemish free.

Tom slowly rose from his chair. He stacked the paper neatly on the table, never taking his eyes off the cat, and then turned his back and walked up the stairs to bed.

In the gloomy, cold kitchen, nothing moved. Until the cat suddenly yawned, stretched and wandered off into the darkness. It was hungry, and thirsty, and bored. It sniffed at the paper stack, and tasted the edge of a sheet. It jumped down off the table, and chased dust across the floor. It clambered up to the sink and tried to lick droplets from the tap, but this made its muzzle soggy so it edged to the lukewarm radiator and stayed there a while, trying to dry its nose.

Upstairs, Tom was having the worst night’s sleep he’d ever had. In fact, since every time he was about to drop off he jerked back awake, sure he could hear clattering and banging in the empty kitchen, he couldn’t even really call it a night’s sleep at all.

Finally, he gave up and made his way downstairs. Everything was exactly as he left it. Well, almost. In the middle of the table, where he’d left the cat, was… nothing.

Tom looked on the floor, in case the cat had somehow blown over. There was nothing there. He crawled under the table. Nothing there either. He lifted the stack of paper, even though it was flush to the table top. Nothing at all. But the edge of the topmost sheet was strangely frayed.

Finally, Tom sat down, placed the damaged sheet aside, and began to make another cat. And it was just as perfect as the first.

After staring at the new cat for a long while, Tom once again left it in the centre of the table and went up to bed. And this time, for the first time, Tom drifted off almost immediately into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

The cats met in the middle of the table, approaching each other cautiously and then circling around and around. Then they began to explore.

Eventually, they came back to the pile of paper. They looked at the stack, then looked at each other. Their noses quivered. Together, they turned to look out of the window, where the moon was still high in the sky. And then they turned back to the stack.

The sun was burning brightly by the time Tom woke in his bed. He felt rested, and that in itself was strange, since he never usually felt rested. He felt calm. He felt happy. He felt… hungry.

Tom got up, went to the bathroom, got dressed. He stood at the top of the stairs and stretched. Then he shuffled downstairs to the kitchen, where he stopped in the doorway, stunned.

Every inch of every surface was jammed full of paper cats. They crowded the floor. They cluttered the ceiling lights. They clustered on the chairs. The table. The worktops. The sink – apart from a space around the plughole, where the cats seemed to be edging away from the drips.

Once there was a boy called Tom, and he lived in a world of paper.

Of course it wasn’t literally paper. He had a house, with broad stone walls, a scarred wooden table and a warm kitchen. Tom had family, and Tom had friends. And every one of them was a perfect paper cat.

A little background: As a result of my #100forchildsi sketching, a few stories to accompany my scrawls began to grow in my head. One of them was just a single image, and I drew it once in pencil and once painted – that’s it above. I hoped to next try a plain ink version… it’s never been quite right. Anyway. It was never intended to be more than just a single image, but then Ramona invented a game where we each had to tell a story, and they were becoming increasingly outlandish. Eventually, this image popped into my head and as we were walking through town, crowds milling around us, she held my hand and listened carefully to the story of Tom and his paper friends. If my 100 days of artwork taught me anything, it’s that an unrefined bird released to the winds is worth two fully-polished articles in your head, so I thought better to commit it to screen, faults and all, than to keep replaying it in my head and watching the colours dim each time I failed to do anything more with it. And besides, Ramona might ask me to tell it again.